Hope you’re doing well and that the spring weather is treating you kindly. Recently, I was looking through my drafts of pieces I never posted to my blog and I came across a creative writing piece I started. Everyone knows I love to write but my writing tends to be personal and meant to be read like a diary. I have always loved creative writing and actually used to write books as a child. However, as I got older, I stopped writing often and sharing it all with the world. To be honest, I have no idea when I wrote this piece and why I wrote it but it was fun to go back and finish it. I know it is very angsty, but I find that angst is much more fun to write and it’s good practice to write pieces with such intense emotions. This is a creative piece so it’s not based on my life or anything I’ve been through. Now, without further ado, here’s a short creative piece I wrote.
One left turn. That’s all it took to for Helena to end up in some dark, unknown part of town with nothing but a notebook and a crumpled up $20 bill. Yet with every step she took, relief washed over her. Surrounded by the bitter darkness, she found peace. With a heavy sigh, she let her body crumple to the ground. Wave after wave of painful memories stabbed at her soul. Helena clutched her chest, hoping to fill the empty void that was once her heart. She didn’t know what to do, where to go, or who she was. It was but three short hours ago Helena slipped out the front door, leaving the love of her life behind. But, was he truly the love of her life? Did he deserve every piece of her soul that she gave to him? She knew he didn’t love her with the same selflessness with which she loved him. She knew that he would always be barely in her reach, and even when he was in her arms, he would quickly slip away. Despite this, she stayed. Because he needed her. And until now, Helena believed she needed him too.
One left turn. All Helena wanted was to go on a quick walk around town. She knew she should take a right, but in the back of her mind there was a voice. It whispered to her, it coaxed her, persuaded her to take a left. What would be on that path? Helena didn’t know, but she was determined to find out. The sound of dirt crunching under her boots echoed through the still air as her thoughts wandered back to him. She remembered seeing him for the first time. How his hair shone in the sunlight, how his smile made her knees weak. She remembered thinking he was the most beautiful creature to walk on Earth. And she still believed it to be so. But behind that beauty was a wicked charm. He was a manipulative man of few words, a man who knew what he wanted and stopped at nothing to get it. But how could she see all that? All Helena could see was his confidence, his bellowing laughter when she told a joke, the way he looked at her with such sincerity, the world was fooled. He did love her and it wasn’t all a ruse, at least not at first. But as the days turned to weeks, Helena sensed his lack of interest. The way he would distractedly greet her, how his words of love began to feel forced. She always knew he was using her, but a small part of her prayed he would change for her. Alas, that isn’t how love works, is it?
One left turn. Helena opened her notebook, letting teardrops soak the pages. Reading back on words she wrote to distract from her loneliness. Words reminding her of happiness, of pain, and most importantly, of love. The life rushed out of her body with every sob. Then, a small laugh escaped her lips. Love. What a disgusting word. What was love? It was cold, unforgiving, and cruel. Love. It was pain, it was loss, it was manipulation. Love didn’t exist, especially not in Helena‘s eyes. Love was a game that one played when they were bored. Love was a way to be the puppet master. Love was merely a four letter word with no meaning. Why would anyone believe the lies told in the name of romance? What compels anyone to put their entire soul into another’s arms? Love. How pathetic.
One left turn. Helena pulled herself off the ground and turned toward the woods. Following the sound of the river, she trudged along. The path diverged and she thought about her life. She thought about happiness, love, sincerity. One path led to the river, deeper in the woods, the other took her back to the town. The right path. But Helena knew which way to go. And this time, with determination, she took the path on the left toward the river. The water sparkled in the moonlight, the sound of the rapids felt oddly comforting to Helena. She had always been afraid of the water. Afraid of sinking to the bottom of the lake, being pulled away by the rapids, of the unknowns in the ocean. But not tonight. Tonight she felt different, she felt strong, independent, courageous. And oddly enough, she felt love.
One left turn. That was all it took for Helena to realize love wasn’t merely a word. Love wasn’t what he gave her. Love was sharing recipes with her mother. Love was watching her dog run through the park on a sunny day. Love was the way her father held her hand as she cried. Love. It wasn’t just a word filled with pain. It held hope. Love was laughing with her best friend till their faces were bright red. Love was watching the flowers bloom on a spring day. It was the smell of freshly baked cookies. Love was looking into the mirror and knowing she was incredible. Love was the realization he wasn’t the one for her. He wasn’t ever hers to begin with and he never would be. He didn’t love her the way she loved him. He destroyed her ability to believe in love but Helena was adamant on getting it back. Love wasn’t him. And with that awakening, all the darkness in Helena’s heart dissipated. She knew love was nurturing, kind, and forgiving. She knew love was meant to be fully reciprocated. She knew it was putting yourself first, even when when all seemed bleak.
One left turn. Helena thanked her lucky stars for leading her down the wrong path. That one left turn was all it took for her to recognize what love really meant. Love was anything she wanted it to stand for. Nobody was allowed to taint that. Wiping away her tears, Helena walked closer to the river, leaning over to stare at her reflection.
“I love you” she whispered. And with those three little words, Helena dropped her notebook in to the river. Watching it get swept away by the rapids, she finally felt free. The notebook filled with pain, filled with memories of him, of her past self, it was gone. Washed away, never to be seen again.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I would love to hear your thoughts and critiques so I can continue to improve.
Till next time,